At the end of every year I am compelled to reflect on the past year and think of the good things that I have done so I don’t feel as if I have wasted an entire year of my life. After which I consider what I will change or add for the next year. I imagine a lot of people do this in the form of New Year’s Resolutions. On the other hand I am surprised at people who don’t reflect on their year, month, day, interactions. I always imagine these people live sort of “willy nilly” or by another term I am sure that most prefer, spontaneously. I can deal with spontaneity, but at some point I believe everyone needs a plan so that they may live deliberately.
At any rate, I don’t call my points of reflection NYRs because that term has never held a sense of permanence to me. Kinda like the difference between “diet” and “lifestyle change”. When I used to my NYRs I would honestly resolve to gain weight and always end up losing a shit ton. Perhaps I should do that this year, because goodness knows I could stand to lose some of my oatmeal and date cookie/cheesecake fudge poundage, but I digress.
So this year I am supah happeh that:
- My loser boyfriends broke up with me. The first one because I never would have had the chance to go to Colorado and learn how to snowboard and would have been stuck with a non-conversational potato and the second one because he was just irritating. I did find the second one’s new girlfriend on myspace and I admit it, I have looked at her profile more than once and have analyzed it and I can’t help but wonder at what point he will drive her completely insane. She looks like a nice girl. She’s pretty. Shorter than he is, which I am sure he appreciates. I can understand how she would be caught up in the whirlwind that he is and romanticize it, but first of all they work together and he is the most unorganized person alive (not too mention a skidge lazy) and then they spend their time off together. Speaking from experience, he does not stop. He has more energy than anyone I know, a sewer ass, horrible grammar, and thinks everything is stupid and will not hesitate to share that with you at every opportunity. However, he is an adventurer and that can be appealing to someone who has never been on adventures or hasn’t been for quite some time. So, to conclude my rant, I hope she can deal with that with humor if it does get on her nerves and if he doesn’t work her nerves, she must be completely insane, too.
- Because of my break ups I have had more confidence in myself. In my personal life I am a shameless self promoter.
“T-mot, you did a good job today!” “I know I did because I am completely fabulous!” It gets laugh and that always makes me happeh. Makes my day that much better. And hopefully for others too (which I am convinced of) - I am pleased at how I handle family situations because I now have the reputation of logical confidante for everyone. Being an asset to people is really important to me.
- I am pleased I got an internship this year. I hope a job offer will come of it. The person I know that still works there said that everyone there loved me and still talk about me so I am hoping something good will come out of it.
This year I hit my stride. I am not as concerned with school and the effort I put into it this past quarter alone (being much less than previous quarters) is not reflected in my grades. I have the same exact grades. Hopefully this knowledge will enable me to maintain more of a balance this quarter coming up.
Things that I want to change for the coming year:
- I will try to not be so critical of others. I hold a lot of people to the same standard as I hold myself and I have been disappointed so many times. I don’t know if that is the right thing to do because usually people with behave as you expect them to e.g. if you think someone is capable of doing something and they know you do, they will be capable. Perhaps something to add onto that is to be more communicative.
- I will take better care of my body. Exercise and diet have always been important but I can’t let them get away from me.
- I will ride my bicycle more when it gets warmer. I am still a sissy in cold weather.
- I will find a job in my field.
- I will trek in Peru.
I think that is a sufficient list. Now, I have to give myself a timetable. I will work on that another day. I am actually supposed to be writing a paper. Not such a fun thing to do to celebrate the New Year, but alas it must be done.
